My wife and I had a conflict that honestly lasted a few years. I would rush through the days activities and often cut social events short. She said it struck her as rude and rushed. I, on the other hand, felt like she wasn’t aware of time. It felt as though she was taking the day away from me with social events and practical demands. One day in a couple’s counseling session, however, we began to untangle this knot. We eventually saw that we were both seeking places of joy, just in different ways. She was finding joy in family life and social occasions. I was finding joy in solitude and art. I was rushing through the burdens of the day to finally get to the joy of my art. She was stopping and savoring the connections we made because, while the rest of the day could feel heavy, those social connections were a joy. We were both wanting the same thing but seeking it in different places.
The solution to this was actually quite simple. I set aside two hours early in the morning to compose. I have never been a morning person. I still find it hard to wake up early. But I find it hard not to write. Rising early is the sacrifice I have chosen. The results are incredible. I found that I go into the day “full.” I am not rushed when I am engaging family because I know this is family time. Nor am I rude at social events because I would rather be doing something else. Instead, I savor all of life more because I have the set aside time for my art that I always come back to. I wonder if you might consider a similar routine for your art. It could help you be better present to your art and your relationships. The two, rather than competing, will feed one another.
There are a few stories I think of with this idea of set-apart time. One is Philip Glass. For years, he worked odd jobs like taxi-driver and plumber. After working through the night, he would come home and to a set-aside three hours for uninterrupted composing. When he was composing, he wasn’t thinking about anything besides music. The rest of the day he was either sleeping or spending time with family, but he wasn’t thinking about music. Similarly, my music teacher growing up told me the story of a band teacher who woke up just before 5 AM to compose from 5-7 each day before he went off to school. That was his rhythm. Finally, Andrew Peterson said most of his songs the first 15 years of his career—when he was raising young kids—were written between midnight and 4 AM. Whether early or late: that’s the sacrifice of an artist.
So artists, what is your artistic liturgy? Your presence of mind to your art and to the rest of life will be enriched if your pattern is fixed. So consider how you might enter that space.